Build #wholemama


I think I’d like to be elevated to the status of master builder.  I’m sure I have more than enough experience.  I have after all participated in the successful construction of 3 human beings using my very own body as the workshop.

Once each child was born I carefully curated experiences to build things into these little people.  Things like feeding and snuggling and changing diapers.  Sacrificing pieces of my wardrobe so they would have a safe comfortable place to puke when they over indulged in boob juice.

As they went through various stages I built their confidence through cheering and bragging about their accomplishments on Facebook.

Really let’s give credit where credit is due and hand over that master builder title ASAP!

Alas if only it were true and I was actually deserving of being a master builder.  I could dance through my days in a state of “Everything is Awesome!”

Instead, I assume like most mothers, I sort of wander through my days praying that any hurts I may inflict through careless words and deed will be healed with love.

The dictionary definition of build is:

to construct (especially something complex) by assembling and joining parts or materials (

For me, this conjures up images of various people coming together to work on a common project.  Something complex.

It brings me back to the whole “it takes a village quote.”

There was a time that I was afraid of the village and what it might do to my family.  I felt like I needed to keep myself separate from those people who might pour something into my children and cause them to feel loved.  I didn’t want love pouring coming from anyone but me.  

Gradually I realized that I am not capable of being everything for my children, nor would it be healthy to be the only person to teach and guide them.  We all need a tribe and I am secure in knowing that I am a significant member of their’s, but not the sole provider of influence. 

Maybe it’s because I’m a 30 something mom that I am so keen to build a grand palace of a life.  One with more than enough rooms to hold the people and ideas that I love.  Around every corner, there is room to change my mind.  The dungeon gives me the freedom to cast away past theologies that no longer fit my philosophy.  I have permission to be wrong and find a better way to see the world around me.

The hope for the walls of my life to be generous. to offer plenty of room to explore, but they are strong and tall to keep my boundaries firmly in place.When you’ve built something as beautiful and majestic as this, there are those who seek to destroy it.

Come to think of it, I don’t really want to be a master builder at all.  I want to need the help and advice from others.  I want to glean the wisdom of my family on how they want this life we share to look.  I want to build character and knowledge in community.  I long to be beside friends as we build (and sometimes demolish) to be stronger together.

What are you building lately?  Are you deserving of a master builder title?

This post is being linked up with #wholemama at Overflow.

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