October and November have been chaos. We are in the midst of moving to a smaller home and selling our current house. This is really exciting because it will allow us to execute some pretty big travel plans in the future. But in the present it is ridiculously stressful.
Having my house show ready and still living in it with 5 other people is exhausting.
Not to mention the gourmet meal this is feeding my inner perfectionist. Seriously she is getting fat on all of the floor mopping, fancy bed making and surface clearing that is going on around here.
Sadly when Perfectionist Sarah is allowed to come out to play her friends, People Pleasing Sarah and Stress-case Sarah join in on the fun.
Calm, wise, kind Sarah gets locked in a trunk somewhere while the mean girl Sarahs partay.
I heard somewhere that relapsing into our toxic behaviours allows us to practice using our tools and get back on track with who we want to be. I really like this shame-free way of looking at failure. It’s an opportunity, not a prison sentence.
This week I picked up the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown again. He has a great chapter on focus, with the acronym W.I.N. It stands for What’s Important Now?
There are a few reasons why I love this little device to remember what’s actually worth spending my time on and what is not worthy of my attention.
One of the first things McKeown points out is that there is only now.. I can not go back and undo the past. All of those ragers Perfectionist Sarah has thrown in the past can not be unthrown.
I also can not predict the future. Worrying and stressing about what’s going to happen in an hour, tomorrow, next week is stealing from my right now happiness.
Not only that but putting all of this pressure on myself distracts me from the really important stuff.
Do I want to sell my house? Yes.
But it’s not the thing at the top of my life priority list.
What’s important now is the way my kids feel during this change in their lives. Moving houses is a big deal.
What’s important now is remembering to breathe.
What’s important now is acknowledging that my worth is not wrapped up in whether or not a stranger thinks my very best cleaning skills are up to their standards.
Asking myself “What’s important now?” simplifies my choices. It strips away the excess. As we’re leaving the house at dinner time for a house showing it’s important that we are all wearing warm enough clothes and we are all being fed.
It is not important that our bento box container supper is Pinterest worthy and our socks match. (I give you permission to greatly lower your standards my friends).
What’s important now helps me tap in to my own needs. When I feel the tension piling on or fatigue settling in I can remember to pause and take inventory. What do I need right now to be my best and how can I get it? What do I need to put aside to get the important thing I need?
My big picture intention is to live my life loving the humans in my inner circle like a boss. W.I.N. is a game changer (get it? Win! Gamechanger! Bahahahaha) for helping me accomplish that.