One Thing I’ve Changed To Start Parenting in The Present Moment

I’m currently the my toddler’s favorite human.  His loyalty is fickle and at any time could switch to daddy or one of his siblings.  But right now it is all about the mama.

Oh how I love his babbling chatter and all of the snuggles, until it feels like I am being prevented from something else.  Something that feels more productive, or lets be honest more entertaining.

 

One can only “find the duck” in the board book so many times before you start to worry that you’re developing brain atrophy.

FOMO then starts whistling, drawing the attention of Madame Perfectionist who makes it her mission to amp up the amygdala (the brain’s fear center).  “Surely if you are planted on the couch with the baby the rest of your life is going to pot.  How will you ever get everything done that you need to if this clingy little creature keeps on clinging?” She warns.

Oh she is good.  She knows just what buttons to push to put me into panic mode.  She sounds the trumpet to warn me that not just my children, but the whole universe is against me.  We must put on our armor for battle.

Little does she know I am becoming ever wiser to her ways.  And therefore better able to resist her invitation to lose my ever loving mind.

I’m learning to say to myself “This moment is for me.”  

All you ever have is this moment, right now.  The past is gone.  You can not go back and change it.  The future is not here yet.  You have now.

Now is your gift.  It has something to offer you.  A lesson, an opportunity to practice, a chance at a do-over, insight, joy, love, peace… You have the choice whether or not to receive the gift with gratitude or reject it.

Be. Receive. Give thanks. 

This time to snuggle my wee boy is for me.  Soon enough he will want to run away and play, but right now I get to feel his love and need for me.

It’s the same for the less than comfortable times.  This moment of reminding my children for the millionth time to get dressed, is an opportunity for me to practice kindness and patience.  It is for me to learn how to get my message across in a way that will be received and responded to.  Even in struggle… This moment is for me.

There is still worry and fear and they come to visit frequently enough. Worry is a gross misuse of the imagination.

I’m pretty certain child misbehavior does not automatically stamp the label “adult asshole” on their future… but worry sometimes takes my imagination down that road.

Then fear wakes up anger and anger is a grumpy one when she is woken up, so she unleashes all sorts of foul play.

One is a liar and the other is a jerk, but neither know that about themselves.

Thankfully I am often (not always) catching these sneaky emotions early and I am able to talk them down before they take over the controls.

This moment is for me.  It’s for me to practice giving fear and worry a back seat in the bus.  It’s for me to practice calling on the loving essence that lives at my core.

This shift in mindset is rocking my intention to be calm(er).

Life, God, The Universe, Source… however you refer to the force in the world bigger than yourself is not against you.  It is for you.  Gifting you with moment after moment of learning, love , peace and opportunity.

All you have to do is practice accepting these gifts.

This moment is for you, live in it.

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10 Comments

  • Marni says:

    I love the comment “Worry is a great misuse of imagination.” I have never thought of it in that way. Mindful parenting is so important in keeping your mental balance in check!

  • Talya says:

    Love this post. Shifting your mindset is so important and can really help you stay on top of your parenting game!

  • Stacey says:

    What a fantastic reminder to slow down. Everything changes so quickly. I have school aged kids now and they are always moving on to the next thing. It’s nice to re reminded to not worry about what the next thing will be but instead take this one moment I’ve been given.

  • It is so hard to not give in to what we feel the world is trying to tell us to do. So many times we listen to those lies and our children are the ones who suffer. But if we manage to push those lies away not only are our children happier, but we are too.

  • Susan says:

    I remember times when my daughter was young and colicky, I used to get so overwhelmed and couldn’t WAIT for the days she got older. But, over time, as she started to grow, I began to remind myself to “live in the moment.” they don’t stay young forever. So now that she is almost 4, she still wants me to carry her, and although times I get tired. I remind myself one day I won’t be able to carry her anymore, so I enjoy it while I can 🙂

  • I am constantly struggling with the feeling that there is something “better” or more productive that I could be doing rather than giving all of my attention to my kids. It’s good to be reminded that I need this time with them as much as they need it with me.

  • Valerie says:

    I struggle with the mental todo list daily. I am slowly learning to let go and enjoy the moment. My baby will not be a baby forever, and I don’t want to miss one thing because I couldn’t be present because I thought cleaning the house was more important. I am learning to tell myself that it will be clean just not right now. I luckily have an understanding and helpful husband. 🙂

  • Candace says:

    “Worry is a gross misuse of the imagination.” This is amazing! I need to say this to myself more often. Thank you for the nugget.

    Candace

  • Liz says:

    This is great. And so true. It’s important to remember that all we have is now because it all goes fast. I’m trying to be a lot more focused on my kids and put aside distractions.

  • Jenny Silva says:

    Thank you for the great reminder.

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