People can not feel bad and learn anything positive at the same time. ~Positive Discipline for Teenagers By Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott
Have you ever felt like you’re a crap parent? Like your kids would be better raised by a family of orangutans? At least they would eat fruit and get some exercise living in the jungle. Maybe the orangutans would snuggle them more and teach them orangutan language so the would be bilingual.
But then the thought of your kids loving their orangutan mama more than they love you sends your heart racing and your brain spinning. Before long you’re a blubbering mess and the imaginary orangutans have caused you all kinds of worry and stress.
Then one of your precious offspring gets into your prized permanent marker collection and decides to decorate her face. And the wall. And a bit of the carpet. And one cushion on the couch.
And you lose your shit!
Then you feel like a crap parent again and the whole orangutan scenario comes back for an encore.
It’s a vicious cycle. Like riding a merry-go-round at the playground that doesn’t stop. It’s out of control, and you can’t get off.
Oh my darling let me help you. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve beaten myself up over my own tantrums. I’ve agonized about whether or not my children love me or they just stay because I feed them.
Getting off that merry-go-round starts with changing your mindset. Taking one little step toward creating the mindset that you are a kick-ass mom and you’ve got this kid rearing gig in the bag.
Here are eight affirmations that you can say, write down over and over again, print and hang all over your house. Own these. Make them yours, because when we feel better we do better.
- I am perfectly matched to my kids. We are just what each other needs.
- I am a calm and kind mom. I parent out of love not fear.
- I value deep, meaningful connection above all else.
- Learning and growing take time. I’m on the right path.
- My love for my children is bigger than any fear.
- My worth is found in being a human being. No matter what, I am precious.
- I am going to take the next most loving step to being the best parent I can be. (Even if that step is making amends)
- My mistakes and the mistakes of my children are fantastic learning opportunities.
When we tell ourselves these kind positive words, instead of “Seriously girl! Why can’t you get it together and stop being such a spaz case.” our brain will start to re-train itself to operate out of love instead of fear and stress.
When we feel better we do better.
I have a little gift for you. Free affirmation cards! Click here and I will email them to you right away.
Pick the ones that give you hope and feelings of mom bad-assery and put them all over your house.
You’ve got this!