Developing community is vulnerable business… I mean first you have to admit to yourself that you need people to support you in this mothering gig… and then be intentional about pursuing relationships with like-minded people who you think might want to have a mutually beneficial friendship with you.
“It takes a village to raise a child” as the saying goes… but I would like to coin the phrase “It takes a village to keep a mama going.”
I have moved towns twice. Once away from my family and then back home 8 years later. I have here friends and there friends and each one plays a special role in my mommy experience.
Here are my tips for being a good villager, you know, how not to be the village idiot.
I may have 3 kids and I have been a mom for 9 years now, but I am NOT an expert… and no offence but neither are you…
We all have our moments of not so wonderful, like that time when we were stuck in town due to heavy snow and staying with some friends. On the second night of the spontaneous sleep over we kinda realized that none of my kids had changed their underwear… not my proudest moment but the other mom and I kind of cringed and then shrugged it off. No judgment…
Don't Offer Advice
Unless you are asked for advice. Maybe that thing that would drive you nuts if it was your kid, isn’t even on that other mom’s radar. I pick my battles as often as my daughter picks her nose (which is fairly often). Hold your tongue mama…
If you ask for it then you gotta take it. It is super annoying to be asked for input on a situation only to be told 30 seconds later why your strategy won’t work. You don’t have to implement the advice given but at least appreciate the help you asked for and consider it.
No Drama Mama
So I haven’t called you in a month… call me. Maybe there’s something going on and I could really use an ear… or just maybe I am exhausted from being a full time homeschool mom of 3. (Just sayin’). This is probably one of those things where it’s truly not you it‘s me.
To Each Her Own
Respect other family’s cultures. We aren’t really sports fans around here… but I know families who are really excited to watch whatever big game is on T.V., together, and that’s fantastic! We head to the ski hill as often as possible and other folks like to stay where it’s warm and read a book instead (I must admit both sound divine to me). It all works out and one family is not making a better choice than the other… just a different one.
As human beings we all have quirks, we all have off days, we all have kids who can be as annoying as a mosquito at midnight. Choose to trust that everybody around you is doing the very best they can in the moment. Take a few deep breaths if you need to then choose to be kind to all the people around you.
We are all in this together… doing the best we know how.
What would you add? What do you appreciate about your village?
photo credit: TORCROSS south devon via photopin (license)
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