How do I do it? How the heck do I find the time to keep up with my self love practices most days with four homeschooled kiddos launching around my house? (Anybody else notice that children rarely move slowly and calmly?)
Not gonna lie… sometimes I feel like The Grinch complaining about all the noise noise NOISE! (Can you relate?)
This was the excuse that kept me from keeping up with my self love practices in the past.
If I couldn’t have perfect, quiet, uninterrupted, me time, then it wasn’t worth it to take any time at all for the things that support my mental health. Might as well carry on in crazy mom mode.
Oh the lies of my inner perfectionist. She tries to help, she really does. But her fear of judgement and failure often get in the way of my goals.
As the saying goes ” You can make excuses or you can make progress. You can’t do both.”
It’s a bit silly that my biggest excuse, my kids, is also my biggest reason why. They are who I want to show up better for and they are the reason I am loving myself like mad.
So what do you do when your reason why seems to be eating up the time you have to work on the what and how of practicing self love?
- Focus on now. If now is quiet and calm and you have found your flow and your pen is scrolling across the pages of your journal with profound and creative insights then soak up all of those moments that this is happening. If now is your toddler beeping your nose while you attempt meditation you have a choice to make. You can pause. Take a breath and see the adorableness of this moment, or you can be frustrated. Adorable is often more conducive to being calm and kind.
- Keep it simple. There are ways to love yourself even before you get out of bed in the morning. If you only have 5 minutes be at peace with that and pour as much love into your cup as you can in those 5 minutes. That time will grow as you keep up your practice and they will spill over into the ordinary, holiness of your life.
- Find a child minding solution. I have bigger kids who are capable of watching my littlest for 30 minutes or so in the morning. I get that not everyone has that. You may need to get creative with how and where you perform your self kindness. Journaling while the kids are eating breakfast? Meditating while the baby naps? Being mindful while walking around the neighborhood with the toddler? Don’t give up. There is a solution to what to do with the kids while you train your brain. It just might take some trial and error to figure it out.
- Let go of control. You can do it. I believe in you. It’s OK if your six year old eats her yogurt with a fork while you’re having quiet time to yourself. As long as the house is not being destroyed and nobody is getting hurt, let it be well with your soul.
- Remember how important this is. People who love themselves live better. They have more compassion and they are able to support themselves and others more effectively than people who don’t love themselves. We all know the analogy of putting our own oxygen mask on before we help those around us with theirs.
Alas it’s true. Children are needy little things that require adult attention in close to alarming quantities. They are also totally worth us being our best, strongest, healthiest, most energetic and kind selves when while we care for them. What we model will have an enormous impact on who our kids will grow up to be. We have the power to help them be truly incredible human beings, and it all starts with how we treat ourselves.